


Solutions in Blood Magic

by MadDormouse



Category: Hat Films - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), The Yogscast
Genre: Gen, Hat Films
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1752662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDormouse/pseuds/MadDormouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a genius, Parvis comes up with a brilliant plan to help himself and Strife Solutions following the explosion of the Jaffa factory.  Meanwhile, Strife receives a friendly warning from a local land deed company.  Initially inspired by Tenlayer's comic: http://tenlayer.tumblr.com/post/87646209823.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solutions in Blood Magic

Parv watched the red pool of his own essence absorb into the blood orb resting in his stone altar. The thin man clutched the edge of the small structure as he waited to regain his strength. Parvis, despite his claims, was elfin enough that the continued bloodletting left him feeling weak most of the time.  
He tucked the sacrificial knife into and his belt and gazed up at the stars. The musician had been taking making notes and reading up on the abilities and limits of blood magic. Will Strife was haltingly helpful, though he claimed he didn't condone the practice of such magic.  
'You know Parvy-boy, it doesn't have to be your own blood,' the man thought. 'I could build that Well of Suffering and build up my blood reserves from animals. A good boss knows how to delegate.'  
His gaze passed over the moon. Parv could actually make out a crater he knew was only a few weeks old. A spark flashed in his mind like the start of a new chord waiting to be discovered.  
'It doesn't have to be my blood,' he mused further. 'Maybe Strife could help me once more.'  
***  
Strife pulled up the schematics on his smartphone. The screen lit up, mapping out the raw elements needed to make the basic parts, leading to the advanced pieces. He had accomplished the final goal a few times now, but building a jetpack was no easy task.  
The businessman placed the required steel and tin off to the side of his building area and decided to focus on the gas tank and circuit. Strife sighed at how labor and resource intensive this process seemed to be, especially when he made multiple jetpacks. He looked out the window of his small business operations location and smiled; it was for a good cause though.  
Parv's tooth filled Cheshire Cat grin stared back at him.  
"AHHH!" Strife screamed, knocking the materials off his workbench in fright.  
Parvis waved at him before running around the side of the building for the door. Still in shock, Strife watched Parv through the windows as he raced around the building. The musician burst through the side door, covered in a sheen of sweat.  
"Howdy, Will!" he exclaimed cheerfully.  
Strife regained motor control of his body to respond. "What the hell, Parv? Why did you scare me like that!? And what's with the paleness? Did you run all the way here from your base near the underground … potty mouth place?"  
"If it isn't my favorite business partner!" Parv said, brushing his hair back in an attempt to suddenly look more professional. Except his hair bristled back into its messy, pointed place. "I was just casually sacrificing some blood on my blood altar tonight when I thought of the most brilliant business venture!"  
Will's mind raced as he tried to digest everything his friend was saying. "More blood magic?! Wait, what did you say about expanding business? … Wait, you're not my business partner!"  
"Let me explain it to you," Parv said, grabbing Will by the shoulder. "As you know, we're in the business of solutions. My specialty as it were is to make sure there were problems people needed solving so you would have business. To do that, and to create problems, I need to expand my research into blood magic. In a sense, I need a renewable source of … 'fuel.'"  
He waved his hand through the air as he spoke to kickstart the image in Strife's own mind. Parv stopped when he looked down at the crafting station before them, seeing the jetpack components for the first time. "What's this?"  
"A solution," Strife sighed. "Just like you said. Seems the boys over at the Jaffa factory had a little mishap … well, I say little, but I saw the blast clear from my volcano when I was mining it for resources. The Jaffa factory is more of a husk than a shell now."  
"But what are you building?"  
"A jetpack, and maybe some protective boots for Honeydew," explained Will. "From one business owner to another. It establishes good rapport."  
"But you're essentially helping the competition!" Parv said.  
Strife 'harumphed.' "Let's be real here. Honeydew Inc. just blew itself up. My guys tell me that the new Sips Co. Dirt Factory is … light years away from pulling itself out of the mud. Speaking of which, how much competition is there from Sjin's farm? And what about your other friend, Littlewood was it? How's that 'beating every monster' thing going? I now stand as the most economically stable business owner in this world. So why not use my position to help others."  
"Sounds more like you're helping the one percent by giving it to just Honeydew," countered Parv.  
Strife rolled his eyes. "So what?"  
"So …," Parv replied with a smirk, as the music continued to form in his mind. "Why not make this gift help you by helping me?" Strife gave Parvis a blank stare. "Okay, what I'm proposing is this. Honeydew is a jolly fellow. He goes on lots of adventures and gets into lots of trouble. You give Honeydew this jetpack as a token of friendship. It helps him out, but it can also help you out!"  
"I don't understand. Which is not really unusual, because I don't know what you're going on about half of the time."  
Parvis held up a smooth stone with a small red jewel in the middle. Crimson etchings around the gem glinted in the light. "Why not make Honeydew Inc.'s constant misfortunes benefit us. This spell of suffering and regeneration will provide me with a constant supply of blood. And who better than a dwarf who goes around on a daily basis crashing into the moon and getting blown up by Creepers?"  
"That's hardly ethical," Strife tried to argue.  
"It's not about ethics," said Parv cutting him off. "Honeydew will continue to place himself in danger, almost dying all the time. But we can benefit from it."  
Strife paused. "How?"  
"You place this rune in the jetpack. It will feed off of Honeydew's injuries when he's hurt. He doesn't have to die or put himself in any more danger than he's already in," explained Parv. "With my magic, I will one day be able to make sure everyone has problems for us to solve!"  
"Umm," Strife blanked. After a few moments he added. "It doesn't have to actually hurt Honeydew?"  
"Not at all. Like I said before Strifey-boy, I'm going to be a huge asset to you," Parv whispered into Will's ear.  
***  
When the jetpack was complete, both Parvis and Strife delivered the equipment to the new location of the former Jaffa factory site. Will constructed a sign around the goods to make sure they were noticed. With the work accomplished, Strife and Parv parted ways for the time being. Will sighed thinking about how he had gotten roped into helping the strange man again.  
Once the long journey back to his base was over, he sighed in relief. The watering system created a soothing sound as it splashed over his crops. Strife smiled at the thought of building more equipment to expand the business, while also leisurely listening to some classic British comedy on the radio.  
And then Will found a note tacked to his front door. Strife glanced around warily before pulling it off. However relaxed he finally felt about agreeing to Parv's sinister plan, he was once again agitated. The Strife Solutions owner opened the note.  
'Good day, William Strife. Legit Deeds is excited to discuss with you the expansion of Strife Solutions! We understand your small business venture is looking to grow and prosper. To make sure you don't encroach on any of our expansive land acquisitions, Legit Deeds would like to formally invite you to our office to review the available land space of the projected Strife Business Park. We would very much dislike an unfortunate land dispute. - The Sirs'  
Strife growled and crumped up the note. Tossing it aside, he slammed the door. Will would deal with these schemers later.


End file.
